Saturday, August 19, 2006

Tears of a clown.

I seem to have developed horribly oppressive allergies in my mid-30s. They hit me with relentless fury last September while visiting Santa Fe, New Mexico, United States of America. It was particularly dry there, which is to say it was as it always is there, and a certain type of weed had taken to flight. Every time I stepped outside my eyes teared up and my nose factory produced an endless supply of drip, which was particularly annoying while Julie and I walked up and down Canyon Road visiting the art galleries. Upon returning to Denver I visited an allergist who, after poking and prodding me with needles, told me I was, and I quote verbatim, "Horribly allergic." When I asked him to what, he said, "Everything." He prescribed Zyrtec D and shots twice a week. I got two shots and then stopped getting shots. Too expensive, too time consuming.

One year later I'm wishing I'd continued with the shots. I'm taking the Zyrtec twice a day, supplementing that with antihistimine eye drops and an antihistimine nose spray. I'm the Mel Gibson of histimine haters.

Yet I'm still miserable. I'm on the verge of sneezing every waking moment. I hold off sneezing as long as I can, however, because if I sneeze once, I will sneeze at least 20 times. Unlike much of what I write, that was not an exaggeration. It's kind of like when you're tying on a good one, drinking like a fish as you like to say, and you resist the urge to pee as long as you can because you know that once you open the spigot you will be opening it every four minutes. I have a 20+ sneeze attack at least twice a day.

My eyes look like they belong on a zombie in a George A. Romero flick. They are completely bloodshot and constantly weepy. And they itch. Oh, do they itch! Yet scratching them only makes them more bloodshot and does nothing to alleviate the itch.

The eye drops and nose spray help a tad, but they don't last very long. Can one overdose on anti-histimine? I may be close to knowing the answer.

It's been raining a bit lately, which helps. Helps me, at least; it doesn't help those of you allergic to mold in the least, but right now I can give fuckall about that. I'm just hoping, praying and wishing upon a star that the worst is behind me and I can stop looking like I have the bird flu.

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