It's been a fun ride, friends, but Boiled Dinner is closing its doors.I've recently watched a number of folks whose blogs I read either hang it up entirely or cut back dramatically, and I selfishly got pissed at them. I enjoyed their stuff; how dare they take that away from me!
But at the same time, I started facing the fact that I just wasn't enjoying it nearly as much as I used to. And that's for no other reason than blog friendships gone bad.
Not mine, so much. I've managed to live my blog life much like my real life -- being a peacekeeper, and a horder of a huge variety of friends.
But friendships between friends of mine went bad, and the fallout from that, and the ramifications of where I comment and who comments at Boiled Dinner, have flushed the enjoyment I used to get from blogging right down the shitter.
This is not an indictment of anyone. I admit, I've been pissed about it, and the last straw was my mom getting chastised for doing a guest post at someone's blog, and someone else coming to her defense, and someone else getting brought into it, and other people... All because PJ did a guest post, and a hell of a great guest post at that. I can't imagine anyone who knows me would be surprised that I'll stand with my mom when I don't agree with her, let alone when she's getting pummeled because of where she decides to do a post. That was complete and utter bullshit, no matter how you spin it.
But over the last couple days I've thought a lot, and corresponded with a few folks, about this stuff. I'm finally looking at it like I should have long ago; like a divorce. I've got some experience in that department, so that frame of reference helped immensely. When you're the outsider in a divorce, you're all of a sudden put in a position of having to choose. One group of friends becomes two separate groups. Or three. Or four. However many it becomes, it's never one again. And you're angry because it shouldn't be that way. You shouldn't lose friends, you aren't the one getting the divorce. So you try to be friends with both, but you know how that goes. It doesn't.
That's what it's been like around here. And to complicate matters, it's not just one divorce. It's a few. And yet, since I've not been the center of any of it, I've been resentful that when I start hopping around my regular blog check, I have to think, should I comment here? Will I piss off so-and-so if I comment here? It's like walking into a bar with one group of post-divorce friends and seeing the other group. Can I say hi? Can I go have a beer with them? Can I be friends with all of them?
Nope. I may have thought so at one time, but my inner Pollyanna on this topic is dead.
People have been avoiding my blog, not because of me, but because of other people who visit my blog. I've been delinked from blogrolls, not because of what I said, but because of what I didn't say, or what other blogrolls I'm on or other blogs I comment at.
Again, not laying blame or pointing fingers at anyone. Divorce is messy, no two ways about it. When you're caught in the crossfire, you get hit. A bunch.
So I'm doing the only thing that makes sense for me. I'm closing the doors on my blog. I'll still lurk around, popping up here and there in comments a la Teacake, the blogger formerly known as Nobody. And I'll definitely continue to contribute to Film Freaks, which is a way-cool haven for positivity and a shared passion for movies. Someday, perhaps, I'll do as Paula did and start blogging again from scratch. But this will be the last post on Boiled Dinner.
Before I close the doors for good, I want to thank the following for their contributions to this blog, whether major or minor, over the past three years:
Archer, Arleen, Asbestos Dust, Babs, Becky, Brad, Cheezy, DangerDoll, David, Dawn, Don, Eden, Emma, Fez, Fringe, Gekko, Heath, HumanityCritic, Jackson, Jane, Jen, Jenna, JennyJinx, Jodi, Joe the Troll, Keera, Kim, Krissy, LawWench, Looney, Lucy, Mamma, Mark, Nat, Nikki, Ole Blue, O'Tim, Paticus, Paula, PJ, Ravenous, Rob, Roy, Ruth, Sal, Schadenfreude, Social Worker, Sour Grapes, Throckey, Venessa, Wiggy, and Zen.
Because of these people, I've had some incredibly thought-provoking conversations here. As well as some hilarious ones. You may not all like each other, and I may not like all of each of you, but I love some of all of you, and all of many of you. If you get my meaning.
I would like to especially thank everyone who participated in Movie Madness. That was a riot. Look for it again next year at Film Freaks.
I would also like to point out that this post got the most comments of any post on Boiled Dinner -- 74.
Okay, enough stalling. Time to turn out the lights, close the door, lock it, and head out.
Peace, everyone.
See you somewhere else.
ADDENDUM: I just wanted to clarify that this decision was NOT the result of any one event, person or situation. It's a culmination of many things spanning many months. So please, the last thing I want to see is people pointing the finger and blaming others. Also, I really appreciate all the kind words in the comments. I'm pretty overwhelmed, to be honest. One thing: I'm a writer, and an comedian, and an attention hound. What better place to get a fix for those three addictions than a blog? I'll be back.
