Friday, September 01, 2006

Boring and Predictable

Am I the only one who's feeling more and more like the republican vs. democrat thing is the equivalent of the Ford vs. Chevy thing? Every time I see Calvin pissing on a Ford or Chevy symbol on the back window of a truck (always a truck, innit?), I think, don't you have better things to do with your time than to flex your superiority complex muscle toward people who bought a different brand of truck? Obviously, the answer is no. "Ford vs. Chevy is the longest war in the history of wars, son, and I'll be goddamned if I'm gonna let people think I'm rootin' for the other side!"

I've been hopping around from blog to blog recently, and other than some rare exceptions, every political blog is solely preoccupied with pointing out the stupidity of the other party. "Stephen Colbert said this, so that shows why all liberals are traitors!" "Rush Limbaugh said this, so that shows why all conservatives are fascists!"

Get. A. Fucking. Life.

What's even worse, they're not just wasting blog space ranting about what politicians and media folk are saying and doing, they're spending their time on the "other party's" blogs, reading what the "wrong ones" are saying, and then blogging about that!

Seriously. Get. A. Fucking. Life.

Some of the sites are posing as "satire" or "comedy," and while a precious few are actually witty, most of them are nothing more than predictable pandering to "their party." Which is only funny to those in your party. Which is easy comedy, my friend, and isn't worth piss. It's like comics who swear all the time, or go to dick, pussy, fucking and shit jokes: it's cop-out bullshit comedy, and it might get you some laughs from the lowest common denominator, but if that's where you're aiming, that's all you'll ever get.

If you want to be political, more power to you. But TELL ME SOMETHING! The vast majority of my blogopals do not have political blogs, per se. But when they blog about something political, they TELL ME SOMETHING! They enlighten me in some way, whether they're telling me something about the political system or the world that I didn't know or understand, or they're just telling me about a personal belief of theirs, I feel like it wasn't time wasted.

So why can't people with actual political blogs get that? Telling me what stupid stuff the other party is doing doesn't push the needle forward one millimeter*. It's just blogsterbation**. And the really ironic thing to me is that, for the most part, the only people commenting on these blogs are either rah rah people from your own party, or "you're full of shit" people from the other party who have a blog JUST LIKE YOURS! No interesting discourse whatsoever.

Please. Seriously. Get. A. Fucking. Life.

*Metric measurement included to make my European friends feel at home.
**Blogsterbation is another Blog Sniglet*** I invented.
***Sniglets were invented by Rich Hall****.
****Rich Hall is not Rich Little.


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