Wednesday, January 25, 2006

When I was your age...

In a little less than two weeks, I'll turn 37. That's like a five-year-old dog, fyi. Now I realize that to many of you, my loyal readers who have stuck by me and savored my blog ever since I brought it back to life yesterday, 37 doesn't seem that old. "Oh, to be 37 again," I can hear all, er some, er a couple of you saying in between sips of some sort of fruit juice. But I tell ya, 37 is old enough to increasingly catch myself if not saying, "When I was your age," out loud, then at least thinking it. It typically has to do with something being better back then than it is today. "When I was your age, music didn't suck." "When I was your age, we knew the meaning of the word respect." "When I was your age, we were scared of pirannah."

I've become obsessed with how much better things were back in the day. We all have, to some extent. That's why stores like Restoration Hardware exist. They make us feel all nostalgic for stuff we never liked when it was here the first time around. Especially with toys. But when I take a moment and really think about it, I have to admit: Toys today are a hell of a lot better then they were when I was a kid. They're more sophisticated, more technological. They're just cooler all around. Especially video games. The controllers on my XBox have more buttons, levers, switches, pads and sticks than I have appendages on my entire body. Way cool junior. But I go into Restoration Hardware and oh my God, look at that! They have Pick Up Sticks! I loved Pick Up Sticks when I was a kid! I bought them and took them home to my 11- and 9-year-old step-daughters.

"Look girls! Check it out! Pick Up Sticks!"

Blank stares.

"See! They're sticks! You drop them... and then you pick them up! Pick. Up. Sticks. Pick Up Sticks!"

Blank stares.

"Here, I'll show you. See how I just dropped them? Watch me now... I'M PICKING UP THE STICKS! Drop the sticks, pick up the sticks, drop the sticks, pick up the sticks. Oh, man!"

Right. They're editing their latest iMovie and I want them to pick up sticks.

"Hey look girls, Jacks! You drop the Jacks, and then you bounce the ball, AND THEN YOU PICK UP THE JACKS!"

Here's something else I found at Restoration Hardware. Old Maid. Go Fish. War. Hearts. The old card games. Except, if I recall, we just used a regular old deck of cards to play any or all of these games. Now, they have special decks for each game. Want to play Old Maid? Buy the Old Maid deck. Go Fish? Buy the Go Fish deck. That was shocking to me. And brilliant. Brilliant marketing. Which set my hyper-inventive mind into a frenzy. And I came up with an idea.

I'm going to sell Tag. I'm going to package the game of Tag and sell it. You'll buy a special Tag Glove, and whoever's It has to wear the glove and touch someone with the gloved hand. Then that new person is it, the glove changes hands, and the game continues. I'm thinking Tag Deluxe might also contain a T-shirt that says "IT" on the front and back, as well as a paper cutout of Home Base.

Oh, and don't even think about stealing my Tag idea. I already have a Tag Glove prototype in the works, patent pending.

That's my rant for the day. Keep the faith.


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