13 Things I Don't Get

13. People who don't like chocolate.

12. Women who carry their dogs everywhere.

11. People who lean in to me like they're going to whisper, only to speak at normal volume.

10. Men who hang rubber ballsacks from the hitches of their trucks.

9. NASCAR.

8. People who keep their bluetooth earphones on when they're not talking on the goddamn phone.

7. People who eavesdrop on my conversation when I'm in a restaurant.

6. People who give advice without being asked for it.

5. People who don't warsh their hands after using the bathroom.

4. People who always want me to taste what they're eating.

3. Why it took so long for someone to put wheels and a retractible handle on a suitcase.

2. The popularity of reality TV.

1. Dry humping.

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